Sunday, January 24, 2010

Celebrating the Eucharist this morning at St. Dimitri's

New dome and housing under construction at St. Dimitri of Rostov mission parish in Los Alamos, NM in May 2009.

Sunday morning, 24 January 2010

This blog series would be meaningless if I didn't acknowledge an event during today's Sunday Liturgy.

I came to St. Dimitri's with heavy heart this morning, not intending to take the Eucharist. Something had happened between priest Fr. John and me via email correspondence in the last few days that shocked and affected us both, which I had caused and which had not been resolved. I couldn't see myself taking those spiritual tokens while feeling as I did.

Knowing what had happened between the priest and me, Birgitta decided to come with me instead of attending her regular evangelical Christian Church service. When we arrived, the Liturgy was already in progress, earlier than usual. My regular place to sing the Epistle had been taken over by Seraphim who was visiting from the nearby monastery. I went to my regular place to sing as the Liturgy proceeded.

My voice felt powerful this morning and I sang with gusto and determination. Elizabeth, who typically tries to lead the singing, was often off pitch and dragging the pace. Things seemed out of balance and I sensed a sadness in Fr. John as he sang and pronounced the priestly parts of the Liturgy. It was unclear to me how it would all unfold and when the Liturgy came to the sermon phase, I wondered how Fr. John would handle it. The theme set by the OCA calendar was from the Gospel of Luke where Jesus speaks of the Pharisee and the Publican. Fr. John moved that parable into new levels of insight I had never heard before. I always enjoy his sermons, since they are generally extemporaneous and relevant to the moment. He is wonderfully gifted in this. Besides the sermons, his prayers for those in need and struggling, as well as for those who have recently gone on ("reposed"), are always timely and deeply felt. Today his special plea for God's blessing to be with the dead and dying and homeless victims of the earthquake in Haiti was especially appropriate. It lifted me out of my preoccupation with the far less important personal issue I had come with.

I wondered how this service would affect me in how I felt about this wonderful priest, who has so blessed my life these past three years that we have known each other, but with whom I was now out of tune and burdened. As the Liturgy singing proceeded toward the Eucharist, I began to notice anew the meaning of the words in the standard hymns we were singing. The Beatitudes spoke to me with new power. My voice in singing them with the rest of the congregation felt particularly strong and I resisted and fought Elizabeth in her attempts to drag the musical tempo. Was it my ego struggling to dominate the process? I think so now.

But then something unexpected and wonderful happened. Fr. John stopped the proceedings saying, "I can't continue until I do this." He then came over to where I was standing, embraced me and whispered in my ear, "Forgive me, my beloved friend." And there we both stood in a tight embrace for long moments while I burst into tears, asking him for forgiveness in return. Birgitta also burst into tears and, having forgotten her handkerchief and standing next to Fr. John's wife, accepted a Kleenex from Matushka Ana Lea. Before he let go of our embrace he whispered once more, "but we will continue to be irascible!" Sadness had turned to joy and good humor.

I felt the Light of Christ shining on and within us as we stood there in that long pause. The burden lifted and I felt again at one with my old friend as well as with all those gathered. The Eucharist was now accessible and alive for me in a new way, revealing to me its power to transform, heal, comfort and encourage.

Sunday evening
Birgitta and I left St. Dimitri's this morning enlightened, rejoicing and in wonderment at what had transpired. My waning faith in my friend and Orthodoxy had been restored and strengthened. Later, as we prepared to retire for the night and reviewed the day, Birgitta described the changes she witnessed in her husband from the time days earlier that he had forwarded a certain email and the intense process it had launched. "Your face says it all", she said. "The hard, gloomy countenance you brought with you to St. Diimitri's this morning completely changed to soft warmth and joy during that embrace with Fr. John."
On Tuesday evening, January 26, Nicholas commented on his joke:
The joke email that started the whole thing has too much truth about hypocrisy behind it and I am gratified that Father John was able to come to terms with the nature of his reaction, at least enough to not let it ruin your relationship.
There are too many in his position of religious authority that hide the truth of their hubris and hypocrisy, and humor like this is one way of "working" with the "unspeakable" truth.
January 26, 2010 6:37 PM

On Wednesday morning, January 27, Eugene replied:
Thank you for putting a finer point of truth on this issue, son Nick. The joke need not be presented here, since it has already cut through the veneer of phoniness that so often lurks beneath outer ecclesiastical garments. I'm grateful for having gotten through to the real article of my friend.

On Sunday late evening, January 24, in response to my text message to examine this blog post, Fr. John wrote:
Blessed be God! Thank you for that beautiful blog! Sometimes out of darkness comes amazing light. The sorrow and separation which we both experienced has been replaced with that light and with joy. I don't know what I would do without those Wednesdays! With Love In Christ, Fr John H+

Fr. John is referring to what has become a regular conversation on Wednesday mornings. I echo his sentiments. We never know what will come into our discussions, but both of us typically leave each other joyfully exclaiming having learned something useful in our lives. Neither of us ever knows what the question, challenge, enlightenment or frequently jaw-dropping synchronicity will be. We can only say "Praise God!"

On Tuesday, February 2, Arseny Pavel said...
Prophet and priest are met in the Kingdom

RPK Phase Two (Norma), Stage 1

Original post: 24 January 2010
Updated: 2 February 2010

Strategy Review

Purpose: we are attempting to generate a non-consensus reality (NCR) event within the field of consensus realty (CR). Remote psychokinesis (RPK) is the NCR event anticipated. The RPK device with surveillance cameras and digital video recorder (DVR) equipment is the CR field. See here for RPK experiment review.

Stage 1. Week One (January 25-31, 2010)
Norma has free reign. No restrictions. During week one Norma will choose one hanging object to focus on and attempt to move it in any way she chooses while not affecting the other. When and how to do this, is up to her. She need not notify me beforehand of any action nor does she need to be in contact with me at any time during the first week unless she chooses. At the end of the week (on February 1, 2010) we will report to each other and take inventory of the PC recording. This blog will report experimental results as they occur stage by stage.

Note the various ways the two hanging objects can move: bobbing up and down; swinging; twisting, twirling (two-dimensional, rotational swinging); distorting; levitating without hanging, breaking the hooks or springs holding objects (so that object falls to bottom of cylinder), stretching the spring(s). (There may be other ways not yet thought of or imagined.)

Assessment. Norma will first report via email what she has attempted during stage 1. That is, when and for how long and what type of effect she had in mind. She will describe her methods as fully as possible. I will then report what the PC record shows.

If there is SIGNIFICANT movement, we will correlate our respective reports and describe it here. These results will determine how to proceed with future stages.

If there is NO movement, we will proceed to: Stage 2. Week Two. (Specific steps to be determined.)

Monday, 1 February 2010
Another Unexpected Result.
Norma called to describe her experience of Phase 2 this past week. With me to hear her report was LANL physicist Quinn Marksteiner, who has participated in this experiment since Phase 1 last summer.

Norma reported four attempts to move one of the two objects in the RPK device without affecting the other. Her reported methods varied for each attempt as she was at different locations and sometimes under stressful circumstances.

Attempt 1: Monday 0730.
Attempt 2: Monday 1300
Attempt 3.Thursday evening
Attempt 4. Sunday 1335

After the call Quinn and I reviewed the PC record. The recorder had been triggered multiple times during the week, but with no apparent correspondence with Norma's four attempts. On closer inspection we discovered a light leak through a 1-inch hole in the bottom of the birch box through which the power and PC connecting cables from the east-looking camera are threaded. The camera is extremely light sensitive, which is why we installed it in a supposedly light-tight box in the first place. Apparently that 1-inch hole still lets too much light in. Quinn stuffed a cloth underneath the box to cover the hole in lieu of putting a more permanent opaque tape over it. In a few days we will review the PC record to see if that solve the problem. He bumped the box in the process, which triggered the DVR recording. The swinging objects took approximately ten minutes to dampen below the triggering movement.

Tuesday, 2 February.
The unexpected result was Norma's report of two specific dreams containing references to the RPK experiment that came to her just BEFORE Attempt # 1!

It didn't dawn on me until this morning while driving the school bus that this news is a HUGE NCR leap forward in my own anticipated view for this experimental series. In fact, I had hoped to find convergence between the RPK approach and Dreaming process some time in the future. Indeed, that was my original intention back in 1978 when working with the Eyring Research Institute proposal for the USAF. That was the proposal for which Jack Houck had been an anonymous DOD referee years before we became acquainted. It is fascinating that Norma's psyche has now presented us with this future at the very beginning of her phase! Let us see if her dreams are maps for the next stage.

When she sends the details of both dreams, we will discuss their relevance (if we are clever or wise enough to see it) and then again reexamine our experimental approach.


Sunday, January 17, 2010

RPK Experiment Ready for "Phase Norma"

Original Post: 17 January 2010
Updated: 24 January 2010

RPK device in light-tight box with door open.
Note monitor below + DVR PC to its right.
Note also the painting in the background.

Close-up of monitor image showing two hanging objects viewed by two dome cameras mounted at right angles.

Sunday, 17 January 2010
The DVR (digital video recording) equipment is up, running and ready for phase two of the RPK experiment. When Norma is ready in whatever way she feels is appropriate, the PC hard drive will be cleared of all past test recordings. We will then launch "Phase Norma" and give Norma an agreed upon time to do her thing, say two weeks, during which time she will keep email contact with us here in Los Alamos. Depending on the results of this second phase, we will modify the second phase and/or design a third phase activity.

Incidentally, the light trap box was built by son James out of Baltic birch, which is light enough in color not to need to be painted white. He thought Baltic birch had symbolic significance for me, which makes me smile. "The birch tree" is the name I use for my favorite Russian folk song, which I love to sing a Capella and which is the melody that inspired Tchaikovsky's Fourth Symphony.

Tuesday, 19 January 2010
Today I reviewed all previous incidents video-recorded on the DVR PC hard drive for any movement that looked anomalous. This was IN CASE Norma's practice attempts had been successful. .

In all there were 63 separate recorded incidents beginning on 11 November 2009, through this evening 19 January 2010. All incidents seemed due to lighting changes and/or mechanical adjustment upgrades that activated the record mechanism. To eliminate lighting changes affecting the experiment, we have installed the RPK cylinder plus two dome cameras at right angles in a "light trap box" as shown above. If the sliding door of the box is opened to expose the interior system, even though there is a constant interior bright LED light attached to the lid of the cylinder, the recording mechanism is activated.

Next operation is to copy the 63 HD video recordings mentioned above onto a data disk and then erase the HD. We will then be ready to activate Phase 2 with Norma.

Good news! Victoria Alexander has just emailed me her willingness to participate in Phase 3. We'll design and cross that bridge after Norma has completed Phase 2 to her satisfaction.

Isn't this great fun!!!??

Thursday, 21 January 2010
Norma and I have communicated by text message today and will talk on Saturday about Phase 2, Stage 1. After we flesh out a mutually agreeable strategy, we will implement it next week beginning Monday, 25 January..

Sunday, 24 January.
Norma and I have talked and agreed on a strategy for RPK Phase Two, Stage 1. (See following post.) Before Norma and I came to agreement yesterday, I invited my young LANL physicist friend Quinn, whom I first met at St. Dimitri's a little over a year ago and who was our local witness to Phase One of the experiment, to visit the newest experimental setup and discuss my intended current strategy. I had wanted to do this before speaking to my Crystal Group friends the next hour and before my conversation with Norma. It was my Crystal Group who helped me shape the new strategy after the unexpected results of Phase One, RPK Party. Quinn is an interested skeptic and the perfect on site technical witness. He is familiar with the equipment and technical challenges of the current setup and had an important suggestion about a third camera view.


Thursday, January 14, 2010

Eugene, like Henry, never knew what hit him.

(Click on images to enlarge)

With thanks to Gary Larson's The Far Side.

When Birgitta gave me this birthday card last November, I laughed out loud and recalled the first time she had appeared in my dreams. It was in 1977. We had met in Pasadena the previous September 1976 on the eve of her return to Sweden after a singing tour in California. I felt then that she would be important to me in the future. Shortly after our meeting we began a many-year correspondence. Then we married in 1993, after I had moved to New Mexico from California, was hired as a consultant to the Los Alamos National Laboratory, and flew to Sweden to propose.

The first three paragraphs in the scanned document below describe that 1977 dream. The rest of the scan is what I tried to make of it at the time, having rejoined the Mormon Church in 1975 after a ten year absence.

These days my focus is on getting the RPK experiment operational and brought to closure. See here for details.

(click on letters to enlarge)


Sunday, January 3, 2010

Implications of the RPK experiment

Initial post: 3 Jan 10
Updated: 21 Jan 10

Preliminary design light box containing RPK device with two surveillance cameras mounted at right angles to the cylinder on a base plate.

This RPK thing is far more than mere scientific curiosity for me. It is my path for pursuing "Truth". As my first poem began to compose itself in November 1964, before I was aware of where I was heading, I wrote: "He stands upon a hill, surrounded by a mountain. Trembling, yearns for Truth to ponder...."

What did the fledgling poet mean by "Truth" with a capital T back then? It was more of a feeling, which he could not describe beyond the compelling experience of writing verse. To most it probably means "scientific" truth or "consensus reality" (CR). To others it means "spiritual" truth or "non-consensus reality" (NCR). For me these days that word "Truth" includes all reality: physical, spiritual and potential. This includes all ideologies, traditions and experience. It is all that is, was and will be. It is anything in time as well as beyond time. Some would speak of the Isness and the Isnotness. Others, such as in Orthodoxy, refer to the Infinite, Unfathomable Father. Still others speak only of the Ultimate Source.

These ideas update my credo poem "As if time existed" written on October 20, 1965. They include three words that have come forcibly to mind in new way during the past few weeks. I have not yet used these words in poems, but I believe they are at the heart of this RPK enterprise. The words are: Life, Light and Love, which are words most commonly used by philosophers, poets, mystics, ecclesiastics and religionists of all kinds.

That said, allow me to share an aspect of this journey that brings me the most hope and satisfaction. It is working with family and friends. As I journey towards an uncertain future with wife Birgitta, various families and friends, sometimes stumbling and sometimes falling into pits, I need the stabilizing help of others, such as my second son James. Allow me to post a recent letter to him, which he says he does not mind my sharing, so long as he is able to add disclaimers. ;-)

[New Year's Day]

Dear Jim,

I want to write something for the record that just occurred to me, as you and I work out practical details for getting the RPK experiment up and running.

It is exciting to me to have you interested and involved! Your suggestions and questions are helping me advance this project in significant ways. I have always needed an intuitive technician to help me with my experiments and projects, whether at Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory, General Atomic [La Jolla], Brunswick Defense [Santa Ana and Costa Mesa], Hot Section Technologies [Ventura and Santa Paula]] or the Los Alamos National Laboratory. And to have you, my own son, become one of these technicians gives me a deep sense of satisfaction.

I am not generally good with the nuts and bolts of things, as you know, except for the two times I had to demonstrate my capacity to be a technician on my way to becoming a professional engineer and research scientist. These were at UC Berkeley, when I was a paid undergraduate technician to graduate student Bill Scott and built the first hard vacuum system in the Department of Mines and Mineral Industries in the School of Engineering that didn’t leak. You were about one year old. The second example was at the U of Utah when I built a hot stage microscope system to demonstrate an intuitive NCR (non-consensus reality) flash I had had about my doctoral thesis subject during the very first quarter of graduate school. You were then almost three. It took me almost three additional years to produce CR (consensus reality) results to an NCR experience--an image--that I would not dismiss or allow to be marginalized. During those three years I had to learn how to describe the behavior of the mechanism I had envisioned in mathematical terms and then build reliable equipment to test it experimentally.

That is what we are doing here, even though the time between the first dream image and now is almost 45 years!

I do not know if or how the results that I am seeking in this RPK thing will play out, but this is the only way I can envision to produce CR results to give an objective opportunity to capture my long-go NCR experiences of 14 June 1964, 17 July 1965 and 14 August 1965, which your younger brother Michael and others dispute as anything more than delusion.

When I made my first attempt to check out the 14 August 1965 NCR experience in my laboratory at General Atomic, I was given one chance and it failed. That destabilized my position at GA. I was not given an opportunity to adjust my thinking and modify my approach before all hell broke loose in my professional life and then in the life of our family. I was put under house arrest in my office until I agreed to be taken to see a psychiatrist at UCLA. All this, of course, is an old story to you.

Nevertheless, I believe that had I been allowed to pursue this line of experimenting back then, as we are at present, I’m confident it would have come to closure. Either I would have discovered that my path was leading nowhere or else it would have led to some more interesting result. I hope what we are doing together will lead to more interesting results. The worst that can happen is nothing. And if nothing keeps happening as we proceed through the experimental stages that have now become clearer in my mind, eventually we may simply give up before I die. NOT! (Come to think of it, we are already doing something interesting in terms of relationship building!)

Thank you, my dear son Jim, for sticking with your strange dad and helping him move into and through his determination to check out the NCR end of a rainbow!

Love, Dad


Saturday, January 2, 2010

Meeting David and Lisa in Santa Fe's India Palace Restaurant

Updated: January 2, 2010

Having been introduced via email by Arny Mindell, Birgitta and I were delighted finally to meet David and Lisa Bedrick, newly arrived in New Mexico from Oregon. Both came from Mindell's celebrated Process Work Institute in Portland , where they met and married. David is an attorney with a consulting background in Organizational Behavior. Lisa has a masters degree from the Process Work Institute and is eager to establish a practice in Santa Fe.

After sharing each other's stories about where and when we met our spouses, we turned to the subject of dreams. We knew this was an important way to get acquainted quickly in non-superficial ways, since we were all deeply connected to Mindell's Process Work. As David wrote afterwards:

We were dreamt together, through some Arny spirit, part way across the country. It's a miracle really. I hope we can fertilize your loves as we feel your hearts will fertilize ours.

A charming and captivating prospect!.